Having done the commuting lifestyle now for almost a month, I am finally beginning to get into the swing of things. Don’t get that confused with being fine, but I haven’t woken up startled to where I am or why I am up an hour earlier than usual lately. But…. the past two week have been very weird….it must be reality kicking in – I don’t live in Hoboken anymore. I live home with my parents. I pretty much rely on everyone in my life for transportation and help. I added an extra 2 hours to my day to commute. I want to be strong and initially walked into the situation like it was no big deal, just the next step to my goal, but man…it really affected me. I got extremely emotional (like crying on the bus for no reason), I have felt off with everyone, which lead to being upset that I have been terrible to people who are only trying to love and stand behind me. And the cycle repeated.
When I finally gave myself a moment to think and figure out what the problem is, I realized what I need – coping mechanisms to make the next few months of miserable commuting better and not take it out on my loved ones. Really, who’s not going to get sick of me complaining? I’ve already had enough of the negativity.
The first step I’ve taken is to seriously learn how to meditate. I have a quiet hour ride to and from work each day, why not take that time to practice meditation that will benefit the rest of my life? I’ve been working on it a little , but am going to need to consult my mom (who’s been meditating daily for most of her life) on some tricks on how to clear the mind, things to focus on, and so on.
Last night I went to yoga for the first time in god knows how long and my heart and soul NEEDED it desperately. I’m going to incorporate it into my routine every Wednesday (once a week is pretty much all I have time for and can afford). Plus my friend Meg is a yoga instructor, so I hopefully will do some work with her as well. Yoga is probably one the best gifts I’ve ever received. After the class was over, I got home last night feeling cleansed and fell asleep happy. This morning, the after yoga-math remained and I continued to smile for no reason and managed to make it to work without feeling anger towards slow walkers or thinking about the next wretched months ahead til I go to NZ.