Splenda Stealer Torture

My friend the“The Splenda Stealer” and I are ALWAYS on the look out for all the freeness that NYC has to offer. And there is a lot.  Who doesn’t love the miracle that is the art exhibit opening…? Free art & drinks? Yes please, art and cocktails go hand in hand.  

Back when we worked together, we’d lurk around the local coffee shops and sneakily rob them blind of their coffee sweeteners (the smart establishments knew better and hid the splenda behind the counter).  Yeah, yeah leave the sweet & low out in the open.  Only the desperates will take it. Unfortunately, sometimes we would and took it by the handful because, well no one really likes it all that much anyway.

That being said, guess what I saw laying on the street cold and alone yesterday afternoon:


I would expect a sweet & low….maybe an equal. But splenda! Splenda is no-calorie sweetener royalty!

Why don’t you just wave a bowl of noodle soup in my face and then throw it to the ground. Once anything touches the filthy streets of New York, it is instantly contaminated. What a waste.

Psh some people just don’t know how good they got it.


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