When I see a negative pattern in my life, I generally first get all sad and mopey to why the world is treating me so garbagey, but then realize that patterns are given to you obviously because there is a lesson that’s still meant to be learned. Based on optimism, once I conquer or the very least understand, tides will change and life will return to a calm flow.
As mentioned 2 blogs ago, I was basically propositioned by a guy who had a serious girlfriend, with whom he lives with. Stupid me, he still got my number so we could hangout sometime because he wanted to be friends. Obviously bullshit. Earlier this week, surprise surprise, guess who texted me to see if I wanted to get together? Oh, it’s Bad Bad Boyfriend. Hastily, I say sure sure I’ll hangout sometime, just let me know.
Good for me.
THEN, last night. Same song, but different dance. While out at the bar around the corner with my roommates, this very attractive guy came up to me, recognizing me from the week earlier, ladi dahed-chittychatted a bit, and asked for my number because he really wanted get together sometime in the near future. Great, can’t ask for anything more.
OH, except the fact, that minus getting numbers, he ring-around and wooed BOTH of my roommates pretty much the same way. AND stupid me, the minute I saw how he interacted with people, just knew, but of course when your actually kind of into someone, become an optimistic hopeful and think perhaps it’s in your head. A little while later, I went to grab my coat and he followed asking me to stick around and let my roommates go on ahead. I then questioned his motives and why was he hitting on both my roommates if he said he was interested in me. He gave me the typical speech. SOO the typical monologue and unfortunately almost fell for it.
He said, “Oh I don’t do drama”, to which I replied, “well me neither, but I like when people are real. If your interested in one of them, good. Go for it. But you can’t have everyone”. “Well, he said, “your the only one I asked their number for, want to get together alone with, and asked to stay around. I told your other roommate that and she tried to kiss me”. And of course, being the hopeful optimistic, I almost believe and was tempted. So tempted in fact that I told them I was going to stay, but immediately said, NO. No I’m leaving. I can’t do this.
I fill them in on what he said and Meg was heated. Turns out, he followed her to the bathroom and tried to kiss her. TYPICAL.
The three of us went home and I started getting pouty and waved off a late night dance party in favor of going to bed to wallow a bit. Why are these people attracted to me? Is this really the best I can hope for and deserve? Already Boyfriends who want me as their mistress or guys who not only want me, but all the company I keep? Yes. I cried. Just for a minute because then it dawned on me.
It’s a test. A test to take the higher road and see the bigger picutre. It’s so easy to bow down and be sneaky. Turn away from people who are actually my friends to get the guy. The guy who didn’t repsect the three of us enough to be real and normal, vs. lord only knows the motives he planned.
So that being said, what do I take from all this you ask? WELL. Value your relationships. Trust your gut. And don’t give in to situations that you know deep down are wrong and not good for your karma.