First off, I have to say, it has been a while since I last wrote! Between the holidays and two solid weeks of work chaos, I haven’t had a chance to think. The good news is being away, I have lots of new blog ideas, so be prepared!
Anyway, after a long-ish weekend at my parent’s for Thanksgiving, I was happy to return to Hoboken on Saturday. After I unpacked and had some dinner, my roommates & I decided to go out and about for a bit.
So a blah blah drink, walk, pointless chat with a 21 year old, wait on line, and a search for my coat later, we ended up for Jerry & Louise’s for the remainder of the evening. BTW, I love LOVE it there. Ever been? It’s a dive without really being a dive, that attracts fun and interesting characters, friendly bartenders, and good priced and tasty drinks.
At this point, it was just me and my roommate Vanessa. Meg, our third opted to go home instead. Anyway, so while Vanessa and I caught up on our weekends home, my phone rang ans guess who it was? None other than my fantastic friend Noel whom I haven’t talked to in ages!! I dashed outside and we had a lovely chat. When I returned 10 minutes later, Vanessa was surrounded by two guys – both cute in a very David the Scientist from Friends kind of way – chatting her up and seemed very nice and entertaining. About a pile of dialgoue later, we all ended back at our place for a couple more drinks and continued conversation.
The guy I was talking to was great. Very interesting, a writer, lived in Hoboken, and seemed to be real and had a great head on his shoulders. He was definitely someone I could see myself wanting to hang around with sometime in the near future. And by the looks of how things were progressing, I would have been surprised if he didn’t ask me for my number to get together sometime soon.
So I went in to bullshit with Vanessa and she dropped the bomb. She pulled me aside and whispered, “DID YOU KNOW HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND???????”
Um. No…no I didn’t.
Immediately, I marched over to this guy, pointed my finger at him, and in a very scolding manner said, “HEY! What are you doing????? You have a girlfriend! What is the problem!! Bad. Bad bad boyfriend!!!”
From here, over the next hour, we dove into his problem as if I was a therapist. He explained that not only was his girlfriend great and wonderful and he admired the fact that she is so patient and takes all his bullshit, but that they have been together for a while and LIVE TOGETHER. Allegedly he never EVER thought of cheating on her, but blah blah talking to me was wonderful and I’m just so attractive, he couldn’t help himself. Um. Thanks? Luckily nothing happened, but come on!
While trying to figure out why he was this way I learned an important lesson: ALL. GUYS. CHEAT. It makes me think of the age long argument on humanity that maybe we are not supposed to have just one mate for life. Is it instinct to seek out something that you don’t have or always want something new and completely different?
This is why when it comes to relationships, I am SO pessimistic and expect the worst. How can I not be after years of bullshit relationships and crappy shady horrors of guys. And you’d think I’d be optimistic with parents who have been happily married after 20 years. I think it comes down to, and I feel the book “He’s Just Not Into You” probably gets into it (haven’t read, but would imagine so) that obviously if he’s cheating it just means that something is lacking and its the relationship getting stale. While he very well may like and care about you and all, it’s just that your not the one. Done. Case closed. Mark my words, the next relationship I’m in and god forbid I get cheated on, HELL no will there be any second chances. Maybe your not supposed to be with one person forever, but for the time being when you make that verbal agreement to one another, respect that. Otherwise, what’s the point?