Never Take An Urban Hike In Heels

As a young worker of NYC, there are certain things I have given up in exchange for comfort. About a year ago and just starting out, I wore heels all the time. And I mean as in I walked to work (where at the time would be a hot 6 avenues or so) and then wore them for the remainder of the day. In my mind, I was miserable, but what was the alternative? To wear SNEAKERS with my fun spring dress? Oh no, no no no.

Alas, I have wised up along the way and traded my heels in for uggs & moccasins in the winter (ha I know, don’t say anything) and now I live in flip-flops. Sometimes I’ll sneak a pair of fun high-wedge sandals, but after last Wednesday, they may also be retired.

Geraldine, my brother’s friend Kyle, & I arranged to go have happy hour because we all work in Midtown and well, come on, who doesn’t love happy hour? Between the three of us, I’m all the way up on 54th and Madison, Gerald on 42nd and Broadway, & Kyle on 33rd and 7th (something like that). We agreed at this place Kyle picked out (god bless his 22 year old little heart. At first, when he recommended a place, I assumed it would be a dive..sorry Kyle. I knew myself at 22 and she liked cheap drinks, which evidently equalled cheap vodka.)

But he introduced us to an un-tapped resource. All I have to say is: Good crowd. $3.50 mixed drinks (and I’m talking like decent hard liquors) and CHINESE food. Oh it was amazing. Needless to say the happy hour crossed over to happy night.

The smart thing to do at the time was walk myself down to Geraldine’s office and then together we’d go to the place where we were meeting Kyle. Stupid me, I guess I over-estimated my abilities in wedge sandals thinking, “oh no no, it’ll be fine. You always wear heels”.

Wrong. 5 avenues up and 12 streets down, my feet started to sweat (I know, something you don’t want to here about, but sorry. It’s summer. Sue me). And I started slipping around in my sandals. But not too badly….

So I scooped up Geraldine and together we walked along, chatting it up about this and that and all the while I was slipping, like tripping all over the sidewalk, as if I was drunk. Like a sloppy stupid all day drunkity drunk.

The first trip we laughed.

The second, again “haha, what is wrong with you”?

The third, “Ok Kristine! ENOUGH! Seriously”!!

Then the fourth.

We continued to walk and laugh at my falling misfortunes and then there I went AGAIN. On a child. In a stroller.

Yes. I fell into a child who was just taking a nice afternoon walk with it’s Nanny. As I fell through the air, I felt someone pulling me forward, in attempts to save the child, who at the time looked at me like a deer in headlights (I’m sure it was more like – what the hell is wrong with this girl). I thought it was Geraldine coming to my rescue, but no. Just some random guy, I’m assuming coming up from behind for a free body feel-up. Awesome.

So luckily, the child was surprisingly cool, or else he or she was a New Yorker who expected the unexpected. I would say it’s Nanny was the more upset one of the two.

Hence. The moral of the story. Do not walk around the city in the summer in heels. You’re only asking to fall onto children in strollers.

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